Tag Archives: loneliness

Conscripted

who made first choice

unknown to me

was joy in attendance

not mine to imagine

here we are

discretion owned

lament for freedom

gifted purposely

easing into lukewarm

like a wet sponge

ignoring the scent

empty containers

that hide contents

senselessly collected

nourishing faux abstinence

steeped in cursing tirades

wrapped with thankless demands

 


Hollow Core Door

I’m easy to dent

it may have always been this way

walked through, left open, slammed shut

a forceful punch puts a hole in my core

no easy way to patch, it always leaves a scar

now unhinged and homeless

searching for a way to re-purpose

table to eat upon

desk for recording history

bookshelf of others’ stories

or

filled up and left solid

 


Paramour

she cloaked herself in scarlet
darker than a blush on cheek
left his scent on empty heart
drifting to a shadowed street 
not looking for salvation, but
respite from the lonely storm
they bellowed loud as thunder
claimed they’d no other harm
his promise was always empty
to others’ lives he did belong
wept herself to sleep at night
dreamt lovers wielding stones


Wallflower

they talk about falls from grace

but not the fall from your eyes

what if being invisible hurts

 

sometimes i fall off the edge

the very edge of the earth

then i dream a school girl dream

 

you are standing in the room

where the party will commence

surrounded by smiling faces, but

 

no one sees me standing there

like a simple wallflower

i am always late to bloom


Only’s Fate

i remember growing up as an only

was for just over eight long years

the other children were an oddity

lack of interest brought forth tears

all my toys i kept pristine, for them

brought out when they came to play

i believed they would enjoy them all

even so, they never chose to stay

 

adults in my life another mystery

so they taught me to read at four

kept feeding me books in my room

the quiet little girl behind some door

wealth of friends on my nightstand

but with whom could i play a game

too busy having grown up parties

most of them didn’t know my name

 

they tell me i am a grown up now

these silly worries are in my past

so i dive in to play with kids if i can

because they invite me at long last

adults stand by and stare at times

they think this a very strange trait

those that never sat on the sidelines

can see no reason for an only’s fate


empty

voice has lost inflection

eyes are suddenly flat

listening to an empty room

scent dry, stale, musty

feeling like an empty cocoon

hanging from limb by a thread


Sunday Prayer

Awoke this morning, to my surprise

I had stumbled off the map

hiking along an empty trail

feeling isolated and ignored

connections like shattered glass

shards dangerous to the touch

fractured language as broken tree limbs

not strong enough to hold me up

in a foreign land, likely misunderstood

staggering along in my obsessive loneliness

the breeze pushed through my thoughts

ruffling memories like leaves on summer trees

I have been here before

pride  strewn upon the ground

prostrate before you, hands stretched in offering

while crying out over my abandoned valley

from the highest pinnacle of my solitude

knowing, trusting that you are in the echo