Like every man, he remembered watching embers glow in the fire
It was summer camping with his father, back when they both were young
Long days of hiking and leisurely fishing, followed by peaceful rest
Tears bring misty memories of a fishing pole being the greatest present
And sharing burnt marshmallows that were dripping off of a stick
Looking up from the rock where you perched, dad taller than the mountain
A self-made, self-employed man, bills stacked at the desk are his mountain
He has worked hard and gone it alone; there is nobody he can fire
Married once, a girl he met that was traveling through town, it didn’t stick
Didn’t expect life to throw such a curve to them, so naïve and young
She left under cover of night, hadn’t heard from her since then to the present
They say that tables turn on the wicked, some never earn their rest
He stays focused on his needs, some of his wants, forget the rest
You can spend a lifetime trying to reach the top if work is your mountain
Always working towards the future, never honoring the present
Do people even grasp, today could be the day they leave in a blazing fire
They keep looking back like they believe they are the eternal young
There are no vampires here, no need to stab through the heart with a stick
His father still lives in the hills, knife in hand he whittles a stick
Forever making it known, to those that would listen, he earned his rest
He made his son a man and worked hard when he was young
Who could complain about a man that raised his son to honor the mountain
Bringing sweat to his brow, air to his lungs, and fish to the fire
How could they know, time in the past would rip them apart in the present
Each time he beat her, mom would leave then come back for her present
One day she didn’t come back, he guessed that the fear didn’t stick
She sent a postcard, just once; it was of a winter cabin with a roaring fire
Dad said she was evil and didn’t love him, he could guess the rest
Never along on their camping trips, now finding reprieve in the mountain
A place of peace, to recapture what was lost when she was young
Bold, cool, and confident, in the springtime nature turns out her young
Leaves them to hunt and gather, learn on the fly or die in the present
To find their way through the dark before reaching the crest of the mountain
They crawl or scurry with no soul to whittle them a walking stick
Learning from hunters that the meadow is no place to stop and to rest
From God or from man, avoiding the bitter flames of each fire
The glances at young make our hearts in throat stick
Our gift is only the present, perhaps the future holds the rest
Sharing knowledge of the mountain and the secret of fire
Jaymie Thorne's Personal Musings 
July 21st, 2009 at 11:47 am
haunting and beautiful, Jaymie. Didn’t expect to see this until much later today. Kudos 🙂
July 21st, 2009 at 11:56 am
I think is still has some rough spots…egads I hate editing! I’ll just let it sit for a while.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:53 am
This is fantastic. The echoes of so many things remember, things lost, time sifted through clutching fingers, the future ever-changing into the present. You capture so much so well so beautifully.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:57 am
Thank you Darc. I love the story telling quality of a sestina. Afraid this one is still a little rough.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Ah, don’t they all need editing? It reads beautifully now, so any edits that you do will just be the icing on the cake. Most importantly, you captured a truth-in a sestina, no less. Small miracle in my estimation. I am going to try to get one done tonight, just to prove to myself I can do it. I’ve never even attempted one. So maybe you should wait–you’re bound to feel great about this one after you see what I scratch out. 😉
July 21st, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Maybe it will be a bundt and we’ll leave off the icing? lol, just kidding. I think Sestinas are harder to edit than to write. Any major changes and you might have to scrap it all… I think you will have a blast with it, some of the verses will fall out on their own, while others might change the course. Always fun and surprising! Let me know how you end up approaching it. I’ve started with a stanza and with just the end words. Not sure which I prefer yet.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:47 am
Jaymie,
That is a writing masterpiece. It is such a beautiful story, that I felt as if I were right there. It was melodramatic and intense at points, yet the merging of thoughts was enthralling.
It was excellent reading, which I had to do a number of times to get the full gist of it.
~Paul
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Thank you Paul. I have decided that sestinas are made for telling stories.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
It will take me a while to learn this writing format. I can write stories without rhythm, but this is something I need to work on. I guess I’m just a regular Joe, as is the name of my last blog. 😉
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I think Sestinas are a fun challenge. Google it for the format and give one a try!
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Thanks! I’m still trying to learn Haiku, so I’m willing to learn other ways to write. This is appropriate because I’m a student in need of a writing mentor like you. I may actually produce something worthwhile if I stay consistent and persistent.
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I still think haiku is the hardest form. Sestinas are a fun exercise. We both are students on this one and I’ve already seen you produce worthwhile writing Paul. Let’s just be willing to challenge each other once in a while. 😉
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:19 pm
You’re right, this self-deprecation has to stop. I’ve been so interested in designing new Web sites and affiliating that I’ve neglected my writing. I put a Webroll on my blog, and I will add your website to it along with others who have websites that are on my blogroll or anyone else who has great website(s). 😀
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:14 pm
No neglect, you have tons going on. Relax Paul, everything in its time.
July 25th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Speechless! One of the very best of poetic works.. you somehow manage to lament on the agony of a lifetime in a few verses.. Just perfect..it couldnt possibly be bettered!
July 25th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
That is good news! Like I told Danielle, I hate editing, a skill I still need to master.
July 25th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Sometimes what comes out instinctively and intuitively is more original and brilliant than consciously edited pieces…
July 25th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Really, thank you for being an avid reader and for all of the encouragement. I continue to be amazed by all the wonderful support in this writing community. And thank you for sharing your thoughts and words – they are beautiful and inspiring.