kaleidoscope (revisited)

Yesterday I fractured

when a stranger looked right at me

not through me

as those who know me sometimes do

it felt odd to exist for a person

that has no history of me

I split into pieces in my effort to hide

avoiding ownership of fragments

but somehow he found me

now it is difficult not to be honest

these pieces look pretty in the light

but shattered remnants cannot walk through the dark


Found a Crayon

found a crayon

a green crayon

grass, boogers, envy

it scribbled on my heart

blocking all my senses

until I didn’t make sense

making me long for

a static gray


Hollow Core Door

I’m easy to dent

it may have always been this way

walked through, left open, slammed shut

a forceful punch puts a hole in my core

no easy way to patch, it always leaves a scar

now unhinged and homeless

searching for a way to re-purpose

table to eat upon

desk for recording history

bookshelf of others’ stories

or

filled up and left solid

 


Family Values

lying in wait was more tolerable than lying in worry

watching for her to peer around the corner

sprinkling sparkling remnants to be crafted into

something, anything

pretending that words could matter on a screen to

someone, anyone

but the visits became more sparse

returning me to words that drift on air from

one ear, another ear

leaving me wondering if ownership exists

when attitudes are hurled like a storm

nobody recording the cold temperature of rejections

or the burn of a verbal punch landed on another

denial the likely outcome of useless confrontation

and the mantra, buzzing in my head

“what other people think of me is none of my business”

so less so should their shenanigans towards one another be mine

or is that true

do you ever stop mothering, do they cease to be your child

I am old enough to know that ridicule is a beast

in the pocket of the unleasher

how do I convey that to a young man

that is trying to trust, trying to love

in a world where even those closest to you

disappoint


Craigslist Anonymity

standing at an asphalt junction

with a stranger that filled every space with himself

I gave the wrong answer.

What do I do?

I love, nurture, create

I cook, hike, bike

I breathe fast, I breathe slow

I plan, I’m spontaneous

I change my mind

I think, revel, stew

I love big, huge, and small

I discover, hide, ignore

I leave space for others because I know that I exist

no need to prove it by filling all of your space

What do I do?

I live

on purpose, without purpose

I laugh more than I cry

reflect within, reflect without

the mirror is ME

the mirror is YOU

we live

I dance

with rolling hips and laughing heart


Treading Upward

I may not know the loss of a continent

or a lover

but I have lived the ripples of a pond

with stone cold drops to the bottom

heart and lungs weighted with life’s heavy rope

to the depths it sent me searching

for a perfect sunrise without a sky

winter’s bloom with no air

the ache of your absent body

answering only to arms of self abuse

houdini existence with me escaping life

wondering why i could not heal

lacking the balm of action

brought from tackling fear anew

 

 

 


Searching Galilee

serpents roll as liar’s tongue

across the burning flesh

nesting further at the breast

to bring about the test

surface breaks, waves are born

upon the sea of calm

death of self renew us now

precipitate the storm

 

 


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